Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
