You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
