my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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