based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
