my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My hand turned me down
You can't motorboat a personality
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
