What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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