Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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