life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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