i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
