nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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