I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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