If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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