Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
