Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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