My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis