I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
