Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES