Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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