Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.

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(781): Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit. http://tfl.nu/7wtq

Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (921)
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(650): View more from California

the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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(650): the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i <3 spencer pratt" tattoo... http://tfl.nu/08eh

Replies (17) Good night (607) Bad night (2055)
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(208): View more from Idaho

when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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(208): when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers" http://tfl.nu/yspu

Replies (6) Good night (5039) Bad night (667)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock

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(609): Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock http://tfl.nu/dnop

Replies (6) Good night (4899) Bad night (1292)
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(804): View more from Virginia

when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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(804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1

Replies (12) Good night (7590) Bad night (2008)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent

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(301): Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent http://tfl.nu/21ar

Replies (8) Good night (3280) Bad night (1785)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me

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(+44): Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me http://tfl.nu/dbfn

Replies (9) Good night (1127) Bad night (4240)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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(204): I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night http://tfl.nu/wncj

Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (2059)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.

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(913): You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic. http://tfl.nu/rxwg

Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (523)
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(503): View more from Oregon

His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...

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(503): His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is. (1-503): It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin... http://tfl.nu/o5cf

Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (569)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?

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(603): I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night? http://tfl.nu/pz1o

Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (705)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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(+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21

Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (376)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

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(814): I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!" http://tfl.nu/71ex

Replies (11) Good night (699) Bad night (368)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?

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(248): Anyone see the sob who took the piñata? http://tfl.nu/8bs2

Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (463)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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(604): he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas http://tfl.nu/s6lv

Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (418)

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