tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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