so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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