I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
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5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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