OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize