She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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