His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
