Your tits are I can't wait for
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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