You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
