Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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