Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
