Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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