I hate your face
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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