I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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