I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
