i think my tv is drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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