my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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