This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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