You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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