these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
