I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize