I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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