Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
