i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
