He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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