i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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