You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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