carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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