Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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