You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
