Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
