Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
