Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize