i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
