hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
