well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
