thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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