did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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