I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
