So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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