i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
