I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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