idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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