if i can run in heels then i can drive
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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