I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
