I cockslap morals
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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