question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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