new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
