i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
