I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
