I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
