I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
