so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
