I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
